Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
