Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
