so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
