Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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  (703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh
  Replies (14) Good night (1376) Bad night (3562)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer

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  (703): Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/3upq
  Replies (42) Good night (3751) Bad night (1093)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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  (585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk
  Replies (8) Good night (3067) Bad night (1646)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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  (703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day. http://tfl.nu/0otc
  Replies (21) Good night (1061) Bad night (6774)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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  (512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq
  Replies (8) Good night (3612) Bad night (1217)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

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  (540): Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza. http://tfl.nu/9mae
  Replies (11) Good night (865) Bad night (4042)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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  (812): They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban. http://tfl.nu/cwx8
  Replies (8) Good night (4730) Bad night (1144)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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  (407): Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition. http://tfl.nu/erlj
  Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (673)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.

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  (+44): Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me. http://tfl.nu/v4al
  Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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  (860): You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep http://tfl.nu/5kc4
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (560)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius

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  (440): the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius http://tfl.nu/488p
  Replies (5) Good night (1171) Bad night (495)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.

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  (206): I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems. http://tfl.nu/rm1a
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?

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  (270): How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before? http://tfl.nu/mcbw
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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  (774): We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole" http://tfl.nu/4a1v
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (309)

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