Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
how drunk are you?
Several
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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