dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize