Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
