So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
