Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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