is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
