your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
