Princesses don't give blow jobs
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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