Define "chronic" masturbator.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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