Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
