If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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