Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
