my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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