Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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