I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
