4 words: hood of his car
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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