thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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