Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Let's get the cat blown out
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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