Someone shit on the floor
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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