I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Come see our sink grown plant.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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