He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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