did you get engaged???
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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