weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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