My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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