I want to stick my p in your. b.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
