You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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