you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Come on in and take your pants off
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