I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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