I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize