At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
