he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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