i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
