He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
