How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
