you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
