I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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