is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
