Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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