My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
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Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
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You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants