May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
