Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
