Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
