I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
