bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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