I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
