It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
