A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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