the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
