real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
