I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
nutella sex= disaster
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
