the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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