did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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