I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my shit smells like andre
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize