whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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